Another

This one makes me sad.

Good Men and True

I just returned from a retirement party for three staff members at the school at which I used to work. It was a great event. The room was not huge, but warm, with a low ceiling, and some quiet moments early on were broken by some of us begining to call out in the familiar heckling way we used to do at staff meetings. Soon it was like a staff meeting again; people gathered for a common mission, and enjoying each others quirks and company.

The three of them represent 90 years in education and I felt very strongly that my own work in education must either begin to match theirs in dedication, or it must end. They seem to have a love and energy that I wish for, but do not, at this moment, posses.

I was brought back so strongly tonight to the love I have for this school, but the way it was is ending. New management (I will not call it leadership, for it is nothing like leadership) has taken the life out of the collaborative environment that was so rewarding. All of us who were there tonight mourn that loss. This was a last great moment for that era, as one of these men was the last of the original staff members to leave. The staff that remain are top class. Though they are not supported as they used to be, the students never know. They continue to give excellent education to their students, in spite of trying circumstances, and thus demonstrate their kindness, professionalism and focus on the true job at hand, one that these three men always remembered: It is about the kids.

I was so glad to see my old friends tonight, and to have it brought home to me what it really means to be a teacher, and consider if that path is mine.

At one point the three retirees and the two former principals stood together for a picture. Everyone applauded and I thought: These are good men. Good men and true. Giants of their age.

One of them recited the following Dylan song at the end of his speech. I think under the right circumstances with the right people, one could feel forever young.

May God bless and keep you always, May your wishes all come true, May you always do for others, And let others do for you. May you build a ladder to the stars, And climb on every rung, May you stay forever young, Forever young, forever young, May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous, May you grow up to be true, May you always know the truth, And see the lights surrounding you. May you always be courageous, Stand upright and be strong, May you stay forever young, Forever young, forever young, May you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy, May your feet always be swift, May you have a strong foundation, When the winds of changes shift. May your heart always be joyful, May your song always be sung, May you stay forever young, Forever young, forever young, May you stay forever young.

Poetry Appreciation Hour

I really like the poems of Pablo Neruda. I read this one in a book called "To Hell With Love." I also like this, but to publish them here seems so weak and girly romantic, so you can go read those on your own, but for sharing time here, tonight, is this morsel:


Fleas interest me so much
that I let them bite me for hours.
They are perfect, ancient, Sanskrit,
machines that admit of no appeal.
They do not bite to eat,
they bite only to jump;
they are the dancers of the celestial sphere,
delicate acrobats
in the softest and most profound circus;
let them gallop on my skin,
divulge their emotions,
amuse themselves with my blood,
but someone should introduce them to me.
I want to know them closely,
I want to know what to rely on.

Pablo Neruda

Amendment of Life

I worked on Travels, but didn't finish. I ended up drinking too much at a party and then drinking more at home and that was a total wreck and I embarrassed myself in front of my roommate, who seemed to be ignoring me, but I am sure couldn't help but notice me staggering around, etc. In spite of only a mild hangover, I think changes must be made. My physical life is out of control. I've gained back a lot of weight, I used to drink very little, now when I drink, I drink a lot, and exercise is no where is sight nor has it been for a long time.

So today, I attempt to amend said life. I have purchased healthy frozen lunches and installed the in the school fridge, along with some snack yogurts. Breakfast is a small latte and a lowfat blueberry muffin. When I lost 50 lbs, this was my staple breakfast, and the downfall of my success in that arena, thought it is not the complete reason, can be tracked by the growing excesses of size and additives to my coffee drinks. In addition to these actions, I have taken a vitamin, and listened to NPR on the way to work, always a health injection measure, I believe.

While I don't know how this will succeed, I feel it is the first postive step I have taken in a long time, and that feels good in and of itself.

Grand Announcement

Tomorrow I shall return to one of my two great works, and attempt to complete and post the next segment of Travels. This section is called: Alone in the Dark. Here our traveler begins to doubt the sense of her journey as she listens to the opening acts.

We shall see if stating a goal brings it to pass. If so, I think it bodes well for the completion of my magnum opus : The Grey.

A Thought Before Bedtime

On NPR tonight, it was said that the framers' genius was that the Constitution worked because of our flaws, not in spite of them. I find revelation in this. Perhaps many important things should be this way, designed so our weakness allows us to excel. I wish I could think of an example; marriage came to mind at the time, as a place this idea could be very influential.

I am sure there is some flaw in my thinking, for I didn't think about it very long, but it was one of those flashing confident moments, where I felt a very important operating principle had been revealed to me. These moments are often lost, as I think this one seems now to have been, but I think for that moment, I knew something very important.

Fred

Fred was my mystery. I would have loved Fred, did love Fred. I applied to him all qualities of good, even though I knew little about him.

Every class was another clue:

Nick is 71 years old, and stops playing when he gets frustrated, or tells the rest of us we aren't keeping good time when we go to fast for him. He is my duet partner. We were to meet at 6:30, but I was in a practice room, and he in the waiting room and he didn't find me until 7. His voice was annoyed on the phone message. I had looked for him, but not to hard, thinking he would look in the practice rooms, but not really caring;

Fred's color was better yesterday. He had gone to the gym, his young friend Nak said. Nak is Asian (Hawaiian? I thought Fred was Asian too) The teacher commented that Fred seemed to be looking thinner and having an easier time getting up and down from the piano;

The teacher has a son with a suspended license;

Louis has jumped ahead in the book to one of the harder pieces. His midterm solo will be a full page;

For the midterm, all the men have chosen the longest piece we have played so far;

I think mine is more complicated, but it is only two lines;

Lauren chose a shorter piece. She is very pretty.

The night of the recital, our teacher says that our first performer is dressing, and then Fred entered wearing a bowtie. He walked immediately to the piano and began picking notes. The class was used to this, because Fred usually sounded a few notes as he lowered his arthritic self to the bench. This time he really seemed to be launching into his piece, Ode to Joy. Wrong hand position Fred, called the teacher from the back. She shuffled forward to orient his hands correctly.

There was cake afterward. There was a group picture. Fred and his bowtie are in the middle.

The Story Between the Stairs

There is a yellowing wood where all thoughts lie.